An artist's rendition of my life

This sums up my life in one picture. Freaky.

Less Gong Show = Less Blogging?

I came across this old post today and I was laughing out loud. What a crackpot I am. Er, was. I'm not like that anymore, of course. Why do you think I don't blog as much? Because I'm lacking material!!! Yep, that's the reason... IT IS!!!

BTW I found out who "Anonymous" aka Hugh Jass was... He cracks me up!


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Needless to say...

If something is needless to say, then don't say it.That's what I say. Oh but this is what Dictionary.com says:

needless to say

Very likely or obvious, self-evident... Although nonsensical at first glance (if unnecessary to say, why say it?), this phrase is generally used for emphasis.

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms by Christine Ammer.Copyright © 1997 by The Christine Ammer 1992 Trust. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company.

Needless to say, I'm wanting to whine right now. Basically, my laptop cord stopped working so now I have to order one. This could take weeks. So I can't use my computer right now. The blogging may slow down a wee bit...

In other news, my clock radio suddenly stopped tuning in to Sonic 102.9 (my fave station). If I had the money I'd pitch the buggah out the window and go get a new one that WORKS. What would happen, though, if it still didn't get Sonic? Is that grounds for returning it??? So instead, during my morning shower, I either have to listen to some stupid radio station that comes in clear as day (most do, strangely enough, however my max tolerance is usually about half an hour before I swear and shut the thing off) or else hook up my mp3 player to some computer speakers and listen to that. I like listening to Garner for that half hour though!!!

Anyways, pretty crappy eh? I don't know how I get up in the morning sometimes my life is so damn rough.

Posted by michie at 2:11 PM

10 Wisecracks:

Procrastinatrix said...
my clock radio cost 10 dollars.

Anonymous said...

It occurs to me that your Laptop Cord was on the fritz well over a month ago and last I checked, bending, twisting and contacting the exposed wires does not constitute a "fix". All Fire hazard aside, this must have been annoying to deal with on a daily basis; would it not have been easier to order the cord when the problem was first observed, or at least within a reasonable time frame? Does this failure to identify and rectify the problem before it reaches full blown disaster proportions not forgo any right to whine about it? i.e. A guy (let’s call him Stu Pididiot) is walking along side a well known and marked electric fence while swinging a metal golf club. A stranger notices and advises him to not do so as he will get electrocuted. “Needless to Say” Stu continues on swinging the club and is electrocuted when the club contacts one of the warning signs. Should Stu have the right to whine, furthermore, should Stu Pedidiot have the right to subject others to said whining? I think not!


michie said...

First of all, reread: a new clock radio that WORKS. Ten bucks would NOT buy one that works better than my current POS. It still wakes me up in the morning, which is why, as a student, it's not practical to buy a new one that gets my fave radio station. Hence the whinage.

Further, this blog is entitled "ramblings of a WHINER", therefore Stu Pidiot (or whatever her name is) can whine all she wants. Also, the cord worked most of the time and usually I didn't have to fiddle with it. I could not have predicted on that particular day, that the cord would stop working altogether. I also wait until most of my shit is completely non-functional before I replace it, IF I can even afford to (i.e. my stupid clock radio, my stupid CD stereo, my stupid VCR, my stupid muffler, my stupid computer speakers, my stupid door to my patio, my stupid gas fireplace, my stupid garage door openers... etc.) If I started replacing one thing, where would it end? Usually I can do without, however, the case of the cord is a special one since I need it for my work and I'm addicted to my laptop. Double whammy, hence the whinage.

This is my blog... I can whine all I want... I had a particularly bad day yesterday and the cord was but one small part...

And finally, no matter whether my whinings are preventable or not, I'm going to be a big baby and cry about it!!! Thanks for the lecture though. Of course hindsight is 20/20, and of course part of me being me is learning the hard way. Otherwise my life would be too happy to possibly endure, and without my own stupidity, how would I have anything to write about?!?!

Thanks for the lecture though.

Sincerely,
Stu P.

ps. I knew someone once, who thought they'd use hypothetical stories to get their point across, hmmm, let's call him Hugh Jass. And anyways, one day Hugh was wrong and was totally humiliated because, well, he was Hugh and Hugh didn't make mistakes (guess he didn't realize he was actually Hugh Man).Phew! Now THAT's a RAMBLING. Don't think I have time to blog today after this, so run along now...


Al said...

Cheez, Anonymous, don't you know that if you open the tap a wee bit for a "whiner" you'll get a gusher.My guess is that "Anonymous" is a guy, Mich, because he offered fix-it advise. You should whine about why guys always do that. WAIT a minute, you already did!


michie said...

You're right, I totally spilled it on that one! It was rather cleansing I must say. (Is the phrase "I must say" really necessary? Hmmm, for that matter, are half of the things people say really necessary? Women are particularly bad at rambling about just to hear themselves talk. Oops, that may even include meself.)

ANYWAYS, whoever ANONYMOUS is, they know me because they knew I'd been fiddling with the cord to get it to work!!! C'mon, fess up! I was glad to hear, however, that I hadn't called my Dad a Hugh Jass, if in fact it wasn't you Dad. Ahem.

Update on the stupid cord: I called Dell last night and they will replace it. Unfortunately they want the old one returned as soon as I get the new one. Unfortunately I'd destroyed the thing in a fit of desperation the other night after I'd heard that splicing it might work. Let's just say I'm not a good splicer. Not good at all. After causing a few sparks and slicing my wrist with the knife (by accident and not in an attempt at suicide, I wasn't THAT desperate to end the misery- although it could have ended up that way)... I finally gave up. So last night on the phone the Dell guy said, "we have to make sure it's the cord and not the battery... so remove the battery and plug in the cord and try turning the computer on." I was like, "uh, I KNOW the cord doesn't work." He explained that we had to go through the process anyways... and so I did it and explained, "nope, still doesn't work." My roomie was laughing at this point, as I was holding the clearly knife-severed cord in my hand. I started laughing and the guy on the phone started laughing too, although he didn't know exactly why and I felt like too much of an idiot to tell him. So now when I return the old one, I'm going to have to write them a note, a long rambling about what a dope I am, and can I please keep the cord they just sent me??? Pleeeease?

ARE YOU DUMB ARE YOU DUMB ARE YOU DUMB??? Yep, I definitely have my dumdum moments, thanks.


Anonymous said...

What the? Are you for real? You did that? What would posses you to ..... OMG! Here's the deal Whiner, people may not pay to read your drivel ..... but I for one would pay to whitness half of this stuff going down! Two words for you ..... Gong Show!


michie said...

Dear Anonymous:What the? Are YOU for real?????????Perhaps you'd like to add a little side dish of patronizing to your entree of sarcasm?


Anonymous said...

Mmmmmm, tasty suggestion! Thanks for making it all possible. your the best!


michie said...

Ok Mr. Anonymous... I have a suggestion for you...PUT UP OR SHUT UP

First of all, your rants/comments sound suspiciously whiney... making you, let's say, HYPOCRITICAL! Secondly, START YOUR OWN WHINEY-ASS BLOG!!!! Your incessant whining and smartass comments are becoming tiresome!

And thirdly, ahem, how much, exactly, would you pay to watch the "GONG SHOW" in person???


Lanny said...

hmmmm... anonymous hit a sore spot... and a possible business opportunity.

Scrabble: Fun for the Whole Family

This is a screenshot of a scrabble game I had recently with a friend. Can you BELIEVE that one? Haha. She finally conceded because further play was obviously futile. On this version you can look up words before you play them... and of course I had to check DIPTO. C'mon, you never know!

I used to play scrabble with my Mom. Our games would take hours! Hmm. She didn't seem to have much fun. I recently came across this video clip from a typical scrabble scenario with her. I had a pretty good chuckle. She's such a good sport.

Lunar Eclipse

I caught the eclipse last night! It was pretty cool actually. I thought that shadow would just slowly cover the moon over, but the moon remained somewhat visible and was a neat brownish colour.

Melting!

Trying to catch a shot of drips from a hanging tree stump.


Melting in the river.


Le Marchand Mansion reflected in a monster puddle. I don't want to be near that when a car goes speeding by!


More puddle reflections...

Calgary gets shit on

I can't help laughing at this news story: Ice from airplane potty crashes through Calgary roof. Edmontonians could have a hayday with this one!

Poop accidentally released from an airplane above Calgary hit the home of a woman, who luckily wasn't hurt by the flying feces. In effect, you could say that the plane "sharted," since apparently the release of solid material was completely involuntary.

Scott Adams writes a funny blog about this story, check it out here: Death by Frozen Poop.

He's right, being killed by flying poop has the potential to erase a lifetime of accomplishment. Oh God, I'm not feeling so well right now. I think my thantophobia is acting up again (for explanation, click HERE)... No wait, this is a special case of thantophobia, which I'm going to call catagelothantophobia.

Luckily I'm not on the top floor of my condo building. Little do those 5th floorers know, they have a much higher chance of being shit on. You know that saying, "Eat shit and die"? Well, it looks like you don't even have to eat the stuff for it to be lethal!

Mags or Rags?

There are some interesting magazines out there, but most of them kinda suck. Oops, I should rephrase that, most of the women's magazines suck. Isn't there something more interesting to talk about than makeup, fashion, losing weight, gossip about celebrities and pleasing your man in bed? Now I know what you men will say - "no there isn't, actually." And of course I'll know you're talking about the last one... ahem. (Here is where my boyfriend would pipe in and say something to the effect of how maybe I should read MORE of those magazines... *thanks, thanks a lot man...) (It's a little weird how I treat myself like crap when I'm acting as my boyfriend, I think I should talk to my therapist about that one.) (Note: I don't have a therapist, perhaps this is a sign that I should have one?)



AHHHHHHHH. I need to stop the extreme tangent action. Let me get to the point NOW. Here a 5 things that SUCK about women's magazines...



5) The magazine has an impossibly perfect-looking person on the cover, and even then it has to be photoshopped until she is almost unrecognizable as human.

4) You try to find the Table of Contents and you have to leaf through the first 20 pages a few hundred times in order to locate it.

3) When you try to find an article, you can't even find the page number because they can't be bothered to put numbers on every page! Are they really saving that much ink by omitting page numbers on 75% of the pages???

2) You are finally enjoying the article on page 127 and you get to the bottom of the page and it says, "continued on page 212." So you spaz out AGAIN trying to find page 212. (Sometimes at the bottom of 212 it will then make you go to 242 in order to finish the damn article. This will often result in a magazine flying across the room.)

1) The articles are often boring and useless. We need more Maxim-type photos and articles, but for women!

Oh wait, I just ran across this: Guy Without His Shirt: Check out this month's half-naked hunk. Hmm. Well, it's a start... Wow, there are lots of guys without their shirts on there. And oh, there's a Body Language Decoder, Sex Tips from Guys and Sex Positions - Master these moves for maximum pleasure...

Wow, researching this blog topic was rough. Well, I'm gonna go now. I've been a little sidetracked here... Maybe reading magazines on the internet is my thang...




If you're still bored after viewing all the guys without their shirts and examining all the suggested sex positions, these are somewhat interesting:

Doctored magazine covers

Best magazine covers

Watch that first step, it's a doozy!

I don't know about you, but I'm thinking that living on the middle floor of that house could be quite hazardous. Perhaps it took a fall from the top floor in order for someone to think, "Gee, perhaps we should put a railing in here." Obviously no one has fallen yet from the middle floor. And when they do, someone will say, "Who saw that coming? Hindsight is 20/20."

More than milk?

Saw this truck parked in my neighbourhood.

Home service eh... Hmm. Perhaps those jokes about the milkman being your biodad aren't so funny after all!

Women Drivers

Women drivers get a lot of flack. And I admit, I know some bad women drivers. That does not, however, prove the rule... Or the fact that I'm an awesome driver doesn't make the exception that proves the rule either!

These photos are actually pretty funny. Click here: The 2006 Women Drivers Awards. However, if you check out these videos: 10 Worst Drivers Ever Caught on Video, then you'd realize that not all of the 10 worst drivers are women. Does that prove anything? Perhaps. (I love video #2. That kills me.)

No matter what you think of women drivers as a generalization, you probably aren't thinking that women driving leads to a "Western-style" erosion of morality and a loss of traditional values. That's taking it a BIT far, don't you think? However, that's why Saudi conservatives and religious scholars have long argued not to give women the right to drive. (See: Saudi Arabia Agrees to Lift Ban on Women Drivers ... features Saudi political cartoon below.)

I agree with the cartoon, but not in regards to just women drivers.

Asian drivers however...

Just kidding!

... or was I?